regret.

i hope i can shout out everything that i’m feeling and it would magically disappear with the wind or some sort of current.. anything that would take it away as far as it can. i hate it. i hate what i’m feeling right now.. the guilt, longing, sadness, fear, confused, angriness, regret. wish i could take everything back, undo what’s been done and forget about it. but i can’t, it happened, i can’t change it and i know it’ll take a lot of years for me to forget about it. it’s just plain wrong!!!! wrong in every angle… Lord help me.. i’m sorry for what i did.

What inspires me.

I’ve been really confused after my graduation last April 2009 of whether or not becoming a nurse was my real passion and what I really want to be for the rest of my life. You see, I’ve always been interested in fashion since I was in the 3rd grade. I’ve been sketching and drawing tons and tons of designs, may it be dresses, pants, shorts, bags, shoes and everything there is in fashion. So why didn’t I pursue Fashion or Designing? Well I as supposed to, while I was trying to fill up my application for a very prominent school in Manila, I was thinking of another course that I may take. So I marked “NURSING” and “INTERIOR DESIGN”. I admit, I was both scared and excited when did that, it was like breaking the rule or my mother’s rule. After a month I took the exam along with my other friends and as I waited for months and months for the result I was secretly hoping that I will fail to enter their nursing program and get accepted for their interior design program. AND I DID!!!! but then again my mother was not up for it and made me take an exam to another nursing school… I was pleased though because I know I can make it in designing. After 4 years of nursing school and passing the licensure exam for nursing and now working as a nurse volunteer in a primary hospital, i still can’t seem to satisfy myself… what’s missing? what do I long for? It was FASHION and I will always long for it unless I do something about it. And so I continued with my sketching and designing and added something in my skills… I learned how to sew! Yes! I did! I made my very first skirt, I altered it so that I can wear it with confidence. after that I altered a dress given to me by my sister. it was very satisfying for ma that I am able to unleash my creativity with something that I’m really passionate about. Soon I will continue with this and study Fashion Design and maybe someday rub elbows with the leading and top designers. I am determined and driven and I know I can make it! <3

I may look ordinary but i do things that are extraordinary

I’ve always wanted to have my own Vespa scooter or something like it. One faithful day, when we finished eating of 18 inch pizza at yellow cab and just as we were about scour inside the mall i passed by the parked scooters of Yellow cab and as you can see in the picture, i just had to try it on for size haha or rather i rode on it and savored every second i was on it. The security guard even asked me to put on the helmet just for safety haha what a joker… i don’t intent on turning the engine on and drive it around the mall, i just want to ride on it, in fact i don’t even know how to drive a scooter! pity me, i know it’s just a scooter, it’s as easy as riding a bike, but i don’t know, maybe I’m just scared that i might crash on a brand new car and be obliged to pay for the stupidity i made. well for the meantime I’m just happy that i was able to ride on a Vespa scooter, well something like it. Now i have one less thing to do on my bucket list ^_^

ycabscooter

me riding Yellow cab's delivery scooter